[ I Am Bengal II – Bengal Harder (Page
4) ]
Yet another home game in Week 7... well, okay, but I’m not much looking
forward to the long road-trip that’s going to round the season off. And, joy of
joys, it’s our old playmates the Cleveland Oranges coming to town, hilariously
propping up the division with their 1-4 record. It’s not nice to laugh at the
misfortunes of others, but what the hey, I do it anyway. So, what’s the deal
with Cleveland, 2003 vintage?
“Well, first off have you any idea how much it’s hacking them off that you
keep calling them the Oranges in press-conferences?”
It’s hardly my fault that they’re colour-blind.
“Yeah, well. Tim Couch is probably the best pure passer we’ve seen this
season, and like Tennessee last week, his receiving corps runs deep. Kevin
Johnson is the man, but right down to 4 in the depth-chart they’re all quick,
they all run great routes and they’ve all got good hands. The tight end won’t be
a factor, but their second-year halfback, William Green, made idiots out of us
in both games last year with pace and power, and he’s a better player now than
he was then. Just like the Titans, though, the chink in Cleveland’s armour is
the offensive line – three out of five players are rookies, and at least two of
those I’m not convinced are really up to the job yet. But where this team’s real
strength lies is in their defence.”
You know, one of these days you’re going to walk in here with good news, and I’m
probably just going to die of shock.
“Deal with it. Cleveland have a strong defensive line, better linebackers,
and a more-than-decent secondary. The only player that even approaches being a
weak link is rookie free safety Trey Riviera. I think you’re going to struggle
to get any sort of running game going, and trying to pass on the Browns is a
risky strategy. All in all, I think this might just be the best all-round team
we’ve played so far this year, and I can’t understand how on Earth they’ve ended
up 1-4.”
That’s easy. Wrong colour helmets, and repulsive uniforms. All you must think
about all game if you’re an Orange is how hideous you’re going to look if you
make the highlight reel, or national TV in the playoffs or anything like that...
So you make damned sure you’re not going to.
“Interesting theory, if a little deranged.”
Get out of my office before I set fire to you.
-
If there’s one game the Bengalville faithful are up for, if there’s one must-win
game on the calendar, it would have to be the visit of the
sartorially-challenged ones from across the state. The fans want this one. They
want it bad. This is about more than a divisional rivalry. This is about more
than local bragging rights. This is about nothing less than the triumph of good
over evil, of light over darkness, of truth and justice over venality and sin.
The Pittsburgh Steelers might be hateful – in fact, I'm pretty sure they are –
but the Cleveland Browns are nothing less than the living embodiment of
everything that’s sick and sordid and wrong in this world, and it falls to us,
Humanity’s champions, to slay this dragon for the good of Mankind and put an end
to its reign of terror once and for all! We few, we happy few, we band of
brothers! And those in Cincinnati still a-bed will think themselves accused they
were not here, and hold their manhood cheap... and why are you all looking at me
like that?
All in all, it was one of my less successful pre-game pep-talks.
Just for the sake of variety, we lose the toss and have to kick it away to start
the game. I start to get that familiar sinking feeling when, on the second play,
William Green sweeps right, smack into a crowd of no less than 4 players, at
least two of whom I’d count among the best tacklers on my roster... then comes
bursting out the other side and away down the field. Free safety Lamont Thompson
gets across to make the stop, but only after a 40-yard gain. We’re getting some
early pressure on Tim Couch, though, and in the end Cleveland have to settle for
a long Phil Dawson field-goal. CLE 3-0 CIN.
The Oranges played us twice last year. They know what to expect from our first
play, especially when we set up in an I-form. The defence braces itself for
Corey Dillon to make the first of several hundred smacks into the heart of the
line... and end up looking pretty silly when Akili fakes the hand-off and
launches a pass to Dan Graham up the seam for 26 yards. Our sideline points and
laughs. A couple of plays later, on 2nd and 4, Peter Warrick absolutely destroys
his corner with a crunching block, and comes across to tie the free safety up as
Corey Dillon comes shooting off the right tackle. The lead blocker, Lorenzo
Neal, hammers the strong safety and Corey looks to make his first move, then
realises that there’s in fact not a single defender left on his side of the
field and takes off for the easiest 34-yard touchdown run he’ll ever score. Our
sideline points and laughs again. CLE 3-7 CIN.
Things quieten down for a while with an exchange of punts, but despite my best
efforts our coverage of kicks is still useless, and Cleveland start their next
drive camped at our 37. They run twice up the gut, then, in a move that can only
be described as Bengal-esque, go play-action, Couch finding Kevin Johnson for 30
yards and putting the Oranges back in front. CLE 10-7 CIN.
This wakes us up a bit, and our offence rouses itself for a long drive to the
Cleveland 6, but this really is a team that it’s tough to run on consistently,
and in the end we have to accept a chip-shot from Lawrence Stills to level
things up at 10.
And suddenly, we just can’t stop the pass. Couch is picking our secondary to
pieces, doing damage with everyone at his disposal, but particularly with his
tight-end, Mark Campbell. Campbell this week, Wycheck last week, Crumpler the
week before that... covering tight-ends looks like it might be a bit of an
Achilles heel for us. Ho-hum. William Green gets the go-ahead touchdown from 5
yards, and the question is – with 1:12 to play in the half, do we risk a repeat
of the debacle against the Titans, where we coughed up 10 points by getting
greedy near the break?
Of course we do. But damn, the Orange pass-rush is ferocious. On second down,
Akili Smith is sacked and coughs up the ball, it gets grabbed by an Orange
linebacker and run all the way back to put them a massive 14 points up going in
at half-time... only for the play to be called back for an offside penalty...
Oh, how we laughed. But the pressure continues unabated. We need a big
catch-and-run from Dillon to convert on a 3rd and 15 at our own 30, then as we
line up to go again with four wide-receivers, Akili spots Cleveland’s rookie
safety lined up on our slot-man, and proves that the Oranges aren’t the only
team with a big-play receiver named Johnson as Chad takes a ten-yard out, turns
upfield and is only dragged down by a despairing tackle at the Cleveland 2, a
gain of 54 yards on the play! Corey Dillon crashes over as time expires, and a
topsy-turvy, can’t-take-your-eyes-off-it-for-a-second half ends all square – CLE
17-17 CIN.
-
It’s important we score first in the second half, because it’s starting to look
like whoever has the ball last is going to take this one. We come out
ultra-conservative, keeping the ball in hand, slowly grinding the yards out and
pushing the Oranges backwards until we reach their 30 and I judge the time’s
right to catch them out... Akili runs the play-action, Dan Graham gets open
again, but Smith doesn’t get nearly enough air under his pass and it’s picked
off by Corey Fuller trailing behind. The ball’s returned to the 46, and Tim
Couch instantly gets back into his groove, taking them downfield with worrying
ease. Even when we have got the coverage right, it makes no difference –
Quincy Morgan has 4 players in his face but still makes the 22-yard TD catch,
and we’re behind again, 24-17.
Okay, no panic, just one score, no need to panic... We go play-action again, and
this time make no mistake – the fake gives Chad Johnson position on his
in-and-out, and Akili Smith fires the ball in for a 35-yard gain. On the very
next play, Smith rolls out, the blitzers chase but don’t quite get there before
Peter Warrick finds a soft spot in the deep zone – Akili puts up an inch-perfect
pass, Warrick pulls it in without breaking stride and slithers past the last
defender for a 49-yard touchdown. I punch the air in jubilation, and we’re all
tied up again, 24 apiece.
We’re not tied up for long. We rather unwisely throw the house into a blitz, and
Couch sees it coming and simply puts the ball in behind it. Quincy Morgan takes
it in, and takes it to the house, a 1-play 78-yard drive. Damn. CLE 31-24 CIN.
If you like your scoring spectacular and your defence absent, presumed missing,
then the Paul Brown Stadium is the place to be. The following drive sees us set
at the Cleveland 29 following yet another big catch, by Dan Graham this time,
and three bullocking runs. It’s 3rd and inches, and, as has been our wont in
recent weeks, we send the Coreymeister to slide through the gap between right
tackle and tight-end. Unlike his earlier big score, Dillon’s getting no real
help from his blockers here, so he sets his jaw and just does the job his damned
self. He beats one man with his burst, leaving the defender flat-footed as he
changes direction by ninety degrees without seeming to slow down at all, then
beats two more with sheer straight-line speed, down the sideline simply too
quickly for the cover to get across, diving over the corner of the endzone to a
rapturous reception from the fans... 31-31.
The Browns are still moving the damned ball, though. On 3rd and 8 at our 23, the
pressure we’ve gotten all game finally, finally tells – Couch tries to force a
pass into his boy Kevin Johnson, and FS Lamont Thompson sneaks in front for the
interception. Nice work. We immediately get ourselves into trouble, though, and
before we know it we’re at 3rd and 10 on our own 43 and about to throw away the
gilt-edged opportunity we’ve just been handed. For once, Akili gets a bit of
time, sees Peter Warrick has a step on the man covering him, and airs it out
again. Warrick runs underneath a pass that drops beautifully over his shoulder,
makes the catch and is finally run down inside the Cleveland 10. On first and
goal, we go to the singleback-big formation we’ve been running from all day, and
the Oranges spread out, expecting another off-tackle move from Corey... what
they get is a sprint right up the belly that they’ve just obligingly cleared
out, Dillon getting a hole you could comfortably wheel a whale through, and he's
in for his 4th touchdown of the day. We’ve got our noses in front for the first
time in what feels like months, CLE 31-38 CIN with just 2:35 to play.
Couch hasn’t, it seems, learned his lesson, and faced with almost exactly the
same situation, he makes almost exactly the same mistake – tries to force the
pass in to Kevin Johnson when he’s double-covered – and this time it’s the other
safety, Aric Morris, who’s the grateful beneficiary, taking the ball all the way
to the Orange 25. Game over, boys...
...or so we thought. But Cleveland’s run defence, which had been effective only
in fits and starts, chooses this moment to wake up and stop us cold. I’m almost
tempted to go for it on 4th, because I’m almost sure that the rookie kicker is
going to miss this one, but in the end I decide to play the game, to show some
faith and give the kid his shot. My faith is, of course, immediately betrayed as
Lawrence Stills' 44-yard kick starts left and keeps on going. Just as I knew
what was coming then, I’m certain I know what’s coming now...
And I’m right. 4 plays, 66 yards, and it’s Quincy flippin’ Morgan a-flippin’-GAIN
who defies the laws of physics to make the catch on the touchdown. All I can do
is sigh. Still, we’ve two timeouts left, and fifty-nine seconds on the clock.
Plenty of time to get into field-goal range, if we’re clever and careful. The
crowd are on the edge of their seats, it all comes down to this, because if it
goes to overtime the chances are whoever wins the coin-toss wins the game, and
that’s too risky even for my blood. Out we trot, and Akili’s doing his job,
keeping cool and taking what’s there... Jason Harris for 15, Chad Johnson for 10
more, Willie Jackson for 10... he’s stopped in-bounds, though, the clock’s
ticking, we dash to the line, audible into a quick slant, Akili thinks he’s a
lane to find Chad Johnson... and he hasn’t. Not with that safety standing in it,
and all. The groan goes up from everywhere at once... the players, the coaches,
the crowd...
17 seconds to go, ball on the halfway line, and once again Crouch gets the job
done when he needs to... Dennis Northcutt makes the catch for 29, and Cleveland
call the timeout with four seconds on the clock. Out we go, hoping against
hope... there’s the snap, there’s the hold, there’s the kick... drifting
right... but not right enough. CLE 41-38 CIN, and somehow we’ve managed to
wrestle spectacular, heartbreaking defeat from the very jaws of victory.
What’s that you say? There’s a second left on the game-clock? Jesus Christ,
let’s get this over with.
They’d kept the ball well away from our star return man, rookie cornerback
Jonathon Crane, all day, and surely this was just going to be a squib-kick to
put us out of our misery. The Cleveland sideline is celebrating, it’s their turn
to point and laugh, while fans are already streaming out of the stadium, utterly
gutted by a game that really looked as if it was in the bag... same old Bungles.
I’m only vaguely distracted from my dark thoughts as I notice that the Oranges
have kicked deep... odd decision, but, you know, whatever floats your boat. Oh,
it’s gone to Jon, for what it’s worth... shortish and just wide of the hashmark,
taken in at the 11. A vague, fleeting moment of hope explodes in my chest, but
soon dies away as I look along the Cleveland coverage team and see that it’s
immaculate, everyone’s got their lane, there’s not enough room to squeeze
Callista Flockheart through any of those gaps. Jon’s realised it too, and he’s
dawdling forward, just on the thousand-to-one shot that something might develop
up ahead with a little bit of extra time... One of the Orange cover-men comes
racing forward, unblocked and untouched, to put the tin lid on this thoroughly
miserable afternoon... oh, heh heh, should have shown a bit more patience, young
Jedi – the defender’s made to look a bit of a goon when Jon avoids the tackle
with a pretty sweet stop-go move... and suddenly Crane’s off and running,
sprinting flat-out for the lane that Mister Impatience had been filling. The
blocks up front hold just long enough for him to get through the hole, and, my
God, from out of nowhere there’s open grass out in front! A man tries to get
across and make a play, but gets Jim Kleinsasser in the face and Jon’s out to
the 50, the crowd going absolutely ballistic... the 40... and now here comes the
cover, backup safety Devin Bush, busting a lung to try and get all the way back
from the opposite side to cut Crane off, and he might well make it, it’s so
tight... to the 30, and Jon gently angles his run toward the sideline away from
Bush, giving the guy more ground to have to make up ... to the 20, and Bush
isn’t going to get there, no-one is, the roar of the crowd has become a shriek
and my throat’s burning because I’m screaming incomprehensibly at the top of my
voice... the 10... TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! TOOOUCHHHDOOOOOOWN! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
Sorry. It’s been twelve hours since I played the game, and I still can’t get
over it. You can keep your Music City Miracle. This game is now officially known
as the Ohio Oh-My-God-I-Don’t-Believe-What-Just-Happened... :)
Um, so, anyway... final score, and the beast is slain: CLE 41-45 CIN – and it
took us 6 weeks to get someone named Offensive Player Of The Week, and now we’ve
done it twice on the bounce – Corey Dillon, of course, who grabbed 4 scores on
the way to racking up 146 yards on 23 carries. Similarly, it’s taken us ‘till
Week 7 for a receiver to have a 100-yard game, and this week we’ve got two –
Chad Johnson, with 4 grabs for 103 yards and a TD, while Peter Warrick had 4
catches for 105 yards.
...
It’s Week 8, it’s the Paul Brown Stadium, it’s Monday night, and it’s the New
Orleans Saints. Our first taste of national television this year, it may be
remembered, was notable for an utterly inept offensive performance against the
Ravens, and our only loss this season. Keen to set the record straight this time
around? Oh, yes indeedy. Last year’s game against the Saints had been a stormer,
as so many of last year’s games were, with us requiring a Saint fumble inside
field-goal range with less than 2 minutes to play, a completion by Jon Kitna on
4th and 18 and a long 3-pointer into the wind for us to sneak a 17-16 win. With
Pittburgh still just a game and a half behind us, a victory by any means
necessary is the mission here.
Oh, remember that tight-end last week you said wouldn’t be a factor? Nine
catches, eighty yards, most of them on third down. You buffoon.
“Oh, I’m sorry, perhaps what I should have said was ‘won’t be a factor
assuming you can call any sort of competent defence’.”
Let’s assume for the moment that I can’t – what’s the story with New Orleans?
“The Saints are one of the hottest teams in the game, coming in with a 5-1
record. This year they’ve been getting it done with defence, although it’s tough
to see why on paper. Yes, their defensive line is absolutely top-notch, but the
linebacker corps is only okay, and their pass defence, with the honourable
exception of strong safety Sammy Knight, is injury-hit and downright poor. My
advice is run to the outside, and keep your pass-patterns short so as to take
that d-line out of the game as much as humanly possible.”
Sounds reasonable. And, though I’m scared to ask, what about the offence?
“It’s going to be a big test for our whole defence this Monday. Deuce
McAllister is one of the most versatile and downright impressive backs in the
NFL –hell beat you on the ground, and he’ll beat you as a receiver. Aaron Brooks
reminds me a lot of Steve McNair – he’s got the speed, the strength, the arm...
he might lack McNair’s grit, but then he doesn’t need to be as tough because
he’s playing behind an absolutely top-notch offensive line. His main targets are
Joe Horn, a receiver who’s got the lot, and Donte Stallworth, who can outrun
absolutely anyone in our secondary. David Sloan is more of a blocking tight-end,
but he’ll make plays against us because every tight end makes plays against us.
There’re no weaknesses I can see in the Saints’ offensive unit, and we’re
playing them too early in the year to benefit from their traditional late-season
slump. I don’t think you’ll hold them to 1 offensive touchdown as we did last
season – in fact, I’ll be amazed if they don’t rack up at least 20 points on
offence, possibly more. A LOT more.”
Your confidence is deeply inspiring.
The Saints win the toss, which isn’t a good omen, and we’re having to defend on
the first possession of the game. McAllister does enough to frighten the life
out of me, but not enough to actually achieve anything concrete. Brooks doesn’t
seem to quite have his rhythm yet, and after a mere 1 first down, New Orleans
launch an absolutely enormous punt that is eventually downed at our 4. Damn.
Not wanting to take too much of a chance with that wicked defensive line and
Akili’s uncanny knack of getting sacked at the most breathtakingly inconvenient
times, we try and run it out from under the shadow of our goalposts. On 2nd and
8, Dillon takes the handoff sweeping right. He has to go the long way around a
blitzing linebacker and turns upfield. Corey nearly knocks cornerback Fred
Thomas’ head off with a move that’s less a stiffarm and more a punch in the gob,
cuts back inside and weaves through heavy traffic before finally being taken
down at our 30, the pressure nicely relieved. The drive nearly stalls just four
plays later, with us facing 3rd-and-long at our own 40, but for once the pocket
holds, and Smith has time to set his feet and heave the ball downfield to
form-receiver Chad Johnson for 24 more. The drive comes to a satisfying
conclusion when Fred Thomas, who hasn’t had the greatest opening series, all
things considered, plays waaaay too far off Peter Warrick on a simple quick-out.
By the time he gets over, Warrick’s had a chance to gather the ball and gather
himself – he jinks past the corner’s desperate tackle and skips into the endzone
to the delight of the home crowd – 16 yard touchdown grab, NO 0-7 CIN.
There’s plenty of signs that we’re not going to contain them all day, though.
Horn beats single-coverage, as Joe Horn is wont to do, for 19 yards, then Donte
Stallworth hangs on to a 39-yard bomb despite being hammered by Willie “Psycho”
Middlebrooks as he takes the catch... we’re starting to get a little pressure,
though, following a short run, a sack and a forced throw-away, John Carney has
to come on to get the Saints’ first points from 32 yards out. NO 3-7 CIN.
A big return sets us up at the New Orleans 48, and we cover the ground in a
hurry. The protection is once again great, and it’s that man again, Chad Johnson
on a deep-slant over the middle for 25. A sack takes us to 2nd and 21, but
Johnson then Daniel Graham dig us out of the hole before Peter Warrick finds the
seam between the short and deep left-side zones and takes his 2nd TD catch of
the game, an 18 yarder this time... NO 3-14 CIN, and we’re putting on a bit of a
show for the prime-time audience!
“Anything you can do...” say the Saints, and it’s almost a carbon-copy drive. A
big kickoff runback by Donte Stallworth, who then makes the catch on a deep pass
to set the Saints up in the redzone before, who else, the tight-end David Sloan
pulls the ball in at the back corner of the endzone to make things a bit edgy
late in the second quarter – NO 10-14 CIN.
There’s just under eighty seconds to play when we get it back, and for the first
time all evening, we just can’t make it happen. No matter, we hang on and run
the clock out. The crowd like it, I like it, the Bengalville faithful gathered
around their cathode-ray-tubes the length and breadth of the country like it,
more of the same in the second half, please! Half-time score: NO 10-14 CIN.
...
Out we trot to face the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of the crowd,
in the unaccustomed position of getting to receive the kick at the start of the
second half. Carney launches it deep toward Marquise Reeves, but Jon Crane’s a
hungry hippo, and nudges Marquise out of the way to take the kick himself...
then promptly makes a cod’s of it, misjudging the flight and having to scramble
a bit to gather on the bounce at our 8. By now, the coverage team are almost on
top of him, so rather than read the blocks up-front as he normally would, he
instead tucks in tight behind Lorenzo Neal like a running-back following a lead
blocker. Crane shows the defence right, then breaks left through a hole opened
by Neal and sealed by rookie defensive end Ray Hanson... Jon bursts through the
line at our 20, angles away from the cover, switches on the warp-engines and
leads a procession of defenders, all of whom have enough pace to stay with him
but not enough to close and make a tackle, all the way to the Saint endzone! 92
yards, his second touchdown return in two games... NO 10-21 CIN.
The Saints, you sense, feel this one starting to slip away. Whenever Aaron
Brooks has needed a big play so far this game, he’s looked for Mister Speedy,
Donte Stallworth – and he doesn’t disappoint this time, either. But the big
difference between our secondary last year and this year is that in 2002 it
really didn’t matter how many players we had covering your man... in fact, you
wanted double-coverage because then the chances were our corner and safety would
run into each other ten yards away from the catch while your bemused receiver
tried to restrain his hysterical laughter long enough to stroll downfield and
rack up his third 80-yard score of the game. THIS year, if you keep pitching it
into tight spots, well, eventually we’ll make you pay. Willie Middlebrooks gets
a hand into Stallworth’s attempted catch, and free-safety Lamont Thompson is on
the spot to scoop the ball up for his second pick in as many weeks. It’s more
about taking time off the clock than increasing the lead at the moment, although
Peter Warrick falls asleep for a second and puts a simple catch down while
wiiiiiiide open for a sure TD. Ho, well. Lawrence Stills does the business, and
the Bengal machine keeps on rolling. NO 10-24 CIN.
The defence is fired-up, and New Orleans run three plays for a grand total of -1
yards. The resulting punt and return sees us set up at our own 45. Warrick makes
amends with a neat catch up the right sideline for 29 yards, and we’re camped at
the 13 as time runs out on the third quarter. Corey Dillon does the dirty work,
3 straight rushes seeing him over and giving us what’s surely an unassailable
lead. Surely? Surely? NO 10-31 CIN.
The Saints have to get something going now if they’re going to have any faint
hope of performing a miracle... but, for the third straight drive, our defence
is just immaculate. A huge sack on 2nd and 10 and tight, tight coverage on 3rd
and 17 forces yet another punt with just over three minutes left on the clock...
New Orleans is sinking, man, and I don’t wanna swim...
As a great Canadian once sang.
It gets worse, too. On 2nd and 9 at our 15, a fake hand-off and quick pass finds
Chad Johnson all alone – he turns the defence inside-out and with the safeties
up to cover the run there’s no-one in front of him all the way to the endzone...
a 5-yard catch, an 80-yard run, and the Bengalville fans can’t believe what
they’re seeing... Neither can I, truth be told. NO 10-38 CIN.
The Saints do get a consolation score in garbage-time, which is mildly annoying
but in no way takes the sheen off what’s been an almighty thumping of one of the
best teams in the league this year. Every unit in the team has played fantastic
football in the full glare of national TV, and let the word go out from this
place... as we head into our bye week, and the league ends the 1st half of the
season, you’d better be a believer - the Bengals are most definitely for real.
Final score: NO 17-38 CIN
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(c) daniel roe 2003
